Don’t you just love nature? She is awe inspiring with her many faces. Sunshine, rain, electrical storms, whatever the weather, whatever the situation, she takes my breath away. I watch her and think – she is all powerful, all beautiful, all confident…
As a confident woman, I relish the opportunity to try new things, challenge myself and face fear head on. Confidence allows me to press forward regardless of my doubts, regardless of others doubts, focused only on the desired outcome. I argue my corner and usually with a smile! I am constantly learning to be confident in every situation.
I believe confidence is focusing on the best possible outcome even when you do not know for a fact what the outcome will be; it’s about not being afraid of being wrong.
You might be completely confident is some situations and have low confidence in others. Unlike mother-nature, we have to learn to apply confidence where it currently does not exist. But the good news is it can be learnt and here are some Tips you can take to build yours:
- Identify what self-confidence means to you and in what situations you want to be more confident. Why is it important? What areas are you already confident in and how can you apply that confidence to these other areas? (For example, if you are confident when talking in a room full of friends what can you take from that scenario to another where you might be in a room full of strangers? It might be that you ensure you don’t focus on yourself – as that makes you too self-conscious – find someone to focus on, talk with them and then when you feel more relaxed work the room at your own pace)
- Always state your desire in the positive: ‘I want to be more confident when I ……’ – this is not the same as ‘I’m not confident enough when I … and need to ….’ Make a statement of intent
- Find a role model. When you see people you admire what is it that they say or do that makes them appear confident? Note their gestures, the way they walk, talk, their style, even their voice. Be specific about mannerisms because you want to be able to take those and make them your own… It’s not about pretending to be someone else, it’s about identifying traits that mean ‘confidence’ to you and learning to apply them
- Start visualising yourself using some of the mannerisms you believe demonstrate confidence. Visualising in front of a mirror is an ideal way to practice or simply with eyes closed and going through the motions in your head. I love the mirror exercise; as daunting as it may seem! It helps you to formalise the behaviours into a natural happening through repetition. It may feel awkward for a while but as with any change, you need to keep persevering. With confidence comes the ability to take it out of your head to the mirror and from the mirror to the interactions with others and then into daily living – unconscious competence comes to mind.
- Journal each time you try out your confidence skills, even if it’s that you managed to smile and say good morning to a stranger today. If it’s something you wouldn’t normally have done, note it! These are the little achievements we so often dismiss but each one noted helps us to
recognise the bigger possibilities.
Let your confidence shine in every situation. Let your beauty and power be felt. After all, you are part of nature too…